Back to the Future

I decided today that not remembering my password for this blog wasn't enought to keep me away anymore. I feel bad. It has, after all, been 1 year, 7 months, and 18 days.

So let me bring who ever might read this up to speed. I still live in Ojai with my beautiful wife, Darcey and daughter, Zao and our dog, Tank. Zao is 2 going on 16. I still work selling plumbing fixtures and appliance.

A lot has happend since I last posted anything up here. There have been huge trials and challenges. There have also been amazing victories and things to celebrate. In the last year, we've really made a point as a family to focus more on God. This has had suprising effects on every part of our lives. Beleive me, we are still very, very, very far from perfect, but we're becoming closer to the One who is perfect.

The funny thing is that I first started this blog as a way to keep track of our journey through life together. With the family growing, this was suppose to be a great way to record, comment, share, vent, and remember the "every day" and the "this and that" moments in life. Zao came to us and blew the roof off the place. Darcey and I have had it better than we ever thought was possible. And (I'm not joking or exagerating in any way) it gets better every day.

So I'm ramping up again. This time with a new little one. We're pregnant with number 2. The baby is due August 15th, 2012. I think that puts us a little over 4 months along. This pregnancy has been a little different from the first one. There's a lot less fear. There are a few more expectations. The excitement is the same, uncontainable. I wanted a girl the first time and I got her. And now I'd like a boy but it goes without saying that there wont be a shred of disapointment either way. The running joke is that if we did so amazing with our first kid, just imagine how good we'll do on the second try.

I think the plan is to have a water birth. I know the beds at the hospital were pretty hard on Darcey's back. I hope sitting in some warm water will help her muscles relax and give her a less stressful enviroment when it comes time to deliver the baby.

This baby couldn't have come at a better time for me personally. For some reason that I dont understand, I went through a few months of doubt. It just hit me one night and wouldn't go away. It was like a bird on my shoulder. I would try to ignore it but it would skwak and skwak and eventually take a poop on me, leaving me not feeling very good about myself. The doubt was against my faith. It was against my motives and even my very heart. A lesson I've learned from this is God loves to take advantage of a great opportunity. He loves to fix broken, repentive hearts. I can honestly say that I asked for Him to show himself to me without any specifics. He did that in a lot of small ways. He also did it in one big way. A few days after this prayer Darcey told me she was pregnant. And he didn't stop there. Growing close to God has helped me grow closer to Darcey. He's provided for us and allowed me to be stronger to resist things that used to control me. I can say from experiance, God is Good.

Flash Forward

Hello Blog,

I knew my time was going to squeezed a little tight once the baby arrived. I didn't know it would cease to exists. Let's see . . .

Darcey and I waited patiently for the two weeks following our December 1st due date. Our doctor gave us as long as he could before coming in to the hospital to be induced for labor. By Sunday the 13th, Darcey and I were packed up and heading down to Ventura with no sign of our daughter planning on making an appearance. We checked in for our 8 PM appointment, got comfortable in our room and tried to get some sleep after the nurse gave my wife the medicine to induce her. I slept on a chair that smelled like it had been outside for a good part of its existence. The next morning, Darcey hadn't moved forward too much. By noon Dr. Cole decided to break her water. The next seven and a half hours went both very quickly and very slowly. It was a feeling of helplessness and excitement, fear and pride. I have a hard time remembering a lot of what happened. It makes me sad to know that one of the greatest moments in my life is mostly a blurry image. I do remember the important things though. I remember Darcey's strength. I remember the nurses giving us more than what is in their job description. I remember seeing a face that looked just like my wife take it's first breath. I remember cutting the cord. The first thing Darcey could say was, "she's so cute" before starting to cry.

Her name is Zao Adora Bechtel. She was 8 pounds, 11 ounces. Zao was born at 7:30 PM on December 14th, 2009.



An important part of welcoming Zao into the world was spending the first hour and a half alone with her. Just Darcey, myself, and Zao. She latched on to feed immediately. Most of our friends who came to the hospital to see her at that point were being kicked out but my dad and his wife, Sandy, Cory and my mom were able to stay long enough to see and hold her.

The next four days were the hardest I've ever had. They were even worse for Darcey. Although Zao was a very healthy baby, she had a reflux that would cause her to throw up or choke very easily. Darcey was awake for the entire four day stretch. The staff was great and we were constantly being visited from our friends and family. However, the hospital heating and cooling system was broken. It would be freezing one minute and an inferno another. Plus, there was something wrong with the air. By the final day it hurt to take deep breaths and we both felt ill with head aches and nausea. Once we left the hospital we immediately started to feel better. The sleeping situation didn't improve much at home for the first 2-3 weeks. It wasn't until our good friend Amy and Todd (who had their first baby only 11 months earlier) came over for diner and gave us some amazing support. All the little things that kept Darcey and me worried and unsure of, they could relate to and had been through it. We were able to get advice that wasn't coming out of a text book. They had just been through all the things we were going through. That night was the first good sleep Darcey or I got since Zao was born.

We only lived in our trailer another 2 weeks. In an amazing answer to our prayers, a rental opened up. Behind our friends home in Ojai is a small cottage they built with everything we need. They offered to rent it to us for way below what they could be getting for it. $800 a month covers everything, power, trash, water, internet, and satellite TV.. Darcey and I were finally able to get the two things we said we would buy for ourselves once we moved out of the trailer, a king size bed and a king size TV. We moved in our changing table and as of right now, we have painted the bathroom and hallway. I've started to mask off the living room to paint before our custom rocking chair arrives and then we can move the crib from Darcey's parent's house. I don't have to drive as far to get to work and we're still close to everyone in Ojai. I can't believe how things fall into place for us. We are blessed beyond my understanding.

Looking back

I stumbled across something very special this morning. It was a post I made on an old networking site about the day I asked Darcey to marry me. This was before MySpace and Facebook. It's amazing to look back and remember what I was feeling when I popped the big question. Enjoy:

May 25th, 2004

Friday was unreal. After Darcey and I woke up we spent some time watching tv and all that jazz. It took a while to get going because I was taking such a long time to get ready. When I finally made myself look presentable we drove down to Tom's Farms where we enjoyed some peaceful music from across a small man-made pond. I inhaled my burger then fought off a squirrel that tried climbing up my pants. We left from there and made our way down the 15 to the Santa Rosa Plateau. It's a reserve where trails and paths have been cleared for the public to enjoy. I had made plans to make the moment happen there. I found a nice spot and thought to myself,"this is the perfect place." but just as quickly I remembered that I had left a very important item in my shirt pocket. That is, the shirt I had thrown in the back of my car because of how hot it was when we arrived. "dogh!"
Never the less, the hike was amazing. Soon after that we made our way down to down town San Diego. Our first stop once in town was to pick up some Dippin' Dots which McDonald's carries only in their San Diego locations. Why that is, I don't know but it should change.
We did some window shopping in the downtown area mall and Darcey enjoyed a back massage from a coin-operated chair but I felt a little taking advantage of. Our stomachs were growling so we made our way over to the hard rock cafe and gazed at all the fun collectibles hung on the walls. I sat next to a 1970 front row Led Zeppelin ticket stub, which was probably the most worthless thing in there but I thought it was one of the best.
The sun moved its way over the horizon and we made one more stop at the Seaport Village. Just past some small shops there is a park with a view of the air craft carriers and the Coronado Bridge and island. The clouds were a deep orange and the lights of the bridge and a few small boats passing by had just come on. I held Darcey at the end of the park as we stared across the bay. I was struggling to keep my hands from shaking. I told Darcey how much I loved her and how blessed I was to have her. I said I couldn't wait to have her for my wife and grow closer with her. I wanted to see her be the mother of my children and grow old with me. God had put an amazing life in front of me and I only wanted to share it with her. I couldn't see her expression but could tell she was starting to tear up. Then I leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear "will you be my wife, will you marry me?" She began to cry; from joy as I could tell. As her eyes were closed and she held on my arms I brought the ring out of my pocket and pushed it on her finger. Amazingly it fit almost just right. she turned towards me and just nodded slightly. I asked her again simply because I wanted to hear her say the word. She managed to squeak out the word, "yes" and we both enjoyed a very nice kiss. Being caught up in the moment and all, Darcey almost forgot to notice what was on her left hand. I hadn't imagined that I would have to remind her to look.
On the way home we had to stop and enjoy our traditional Slurpee's. They tasted better that usual. I know its just because I couldn't stop thinking of Darcey sharing my last name.

More awesome posts like this at xpistfistx.livejournal.com/

At the Crossroads . . .

The days are rolling by pretty calmly right now. As the time comes closer and closer for our baby to be born, a pretty large decision looms over our heads. "Where are we going to live?"

When Darcey and I first married, we lived in a nice little apartment in Riverside. It was an awesome place to live since it was smack in the middle of a mall, a theme park, a hospital, Target (Darcey's favorite), and work. Plus it was cheap so we were able to pay rent and buy food. Imagine that. In January of 2005, a storm rolled into Ojai that kept the rain pouring for almost three weeks straight. In the time this was happening, a large landslide got a lot of media attention in nearby La Conchita where several homes were destroyed and one man lost his entire family. Back in Ojai, my in-laws were putting sand bags around the property trying to keep the water out. They ended up losing almost everything. It's a long story but you can read it on my brother in-law's blog here. Darcey and I bought a trailer and moved up to help get the house rebuilt and back in shape. Sean and Randi have been in their beautiful home for around two years now and Darcey and I are still in the trailer.

With all the struggles and frustrations that go with living in a camper, there's also many benefits. We've been able to go on a few sweet vacations, buy a new car, and save a bunch of money. The trailer life is not going to work any more since the family is growing so we're on the look out for the right opportunity to move up in the world. Option #1 is move to Ventura. It would be the most expensive choice and it's hard to spend a lot of money with the way the economy is right now but it's a nice safe town to be in and everything we need is near by. Option #2 is to buy in Ojai. It would be great to stay close to Darcey's parents while the baby is small but there is nothing in this freakin' place! If you want to do anything entertaining or need to buy a specialty item, chances are you're making a 30 minute drive. Option #3 is to move back to Riverside or Corona. My family is mostly within 10 minutes and there's the most amount of stuff to do. It's also the cheapest but there is a massive work shortage. If I'm able to find a well-paying, steady job I think this is the best choice, but only if I find that job does the plan work. Pray for us. It's a huge decision to make while our family is going through so many changes.

Bitter Sweet Home Coming

I can't exactly say that if we got stuck in Maui for a few more days I would be too bummed out about it. After all, I was getting a sweet tan finally and my stress from work wasn't even a daily thought. What I can say is that when we came home it wasn't too soon. It was just right.

I thought this would be what my view would be for the 11.5 days I spent on the beautiful island in Kahana, Kapalua and Lahaina, but it wasn't. It ended up being even better than I expected this vacation to be.

The afternoon we arrived at Kahana Sunset, I watched the McAfees run to the beach just at sunset as if it was the baby Jesus. The days were full of snorkeling, frisbee, swimming in the pool, laying out, sleeping in, scuba diving, shopping, kayaking, rock jumping, road tripping, site seeing, fine dining, home cooking, movie watching, visiting family, making friends, hiking, photo taking and most of all, enjoying quality time with my wife.

It was some much needed time off. The whole family had waited a long time to get away and spend time together.

The Perfect Day

The perfect day starts by waking up with a smile on my face and then looking over at Darcey and she's smiling too. "We're going to Hawaii today."

Darcey and I sold our scooter to some friends in Corona so I drove it down after work the day before to drop it off. It was a long day. After sitting for 15 hours straight, I was surprised that the idea of sitting on a plane most of the day didn't bother me one bit. I could sit next to Darcey in a small space for the rest of my life.

The day continued to be perfect because the airline played "The Office" which the entire family is a big fan of. The flight went by fast for 5 1/2 hours. We ate lunch on a short lay over at the Honolulu airport.

By far the best part of the day for the family was while we were renting our cars. Most of the deals Matt could find on the internet were about $20 a day for an economy car. Being the cheap skates we are, we managed to find a better deal on priceline.com for $13 and $15 a day for two cars. The guy working at the counter wasn't too happy with us laughing at the fact we didn't want an upgrade for double what we're paying in the first place. When Matt asked how much it was to add another driver the response was, "If you're not going to pay 10 bucks for a jeep, you're not going to pay for your wife to drive." Matt and I managed to not burst out in laughter as the clearly on-commission salesman printed our receipts. Once we made it out to the parking lot we walked past the luxury cars waiting in the front while jokingly saying, "I'll take that one." We quickly realized that there was only one economy car left. A red Toyota Yaris. Thinking he's going to have to upgrade us to a slightly larger car like a Accord or Seabring, the guy noticed that all eight of us were together he said the most beautiful words a person in his position could ever say. Pointing at a Black Lincoln Towncar and a Black Chrysler 300 he said, "You guys just take these two." I wish I had a camera on our faces. We put our luggage in the cars in record time hoping to jet out of the parking lot before the guy realized what kind of a deal we were getting. It was one perfect thing after another. We needed to find a Costco and it was the first store outside of the airport. The drive and weather were perfect. The condo with the ocean view was perfect. The fresh pineapple we had for dinner was perfect. The bedroom view is even more perfect than the other one. Being with family makes it amazingly perfect. That's it. We're moving.

An Early Mother's Day

There was no way I was going to let one of the worst allergy attacks I've ever had spoil a day with my mom. For a while it seemed like every hole in my head was leaking but it was totally worth it.

Because we're leaving on Mother's Day, my mom and I wanted to meet up and give her a chance to see Darcey's side of the family while they are in California. Everyone was there except for Sean. He had to work at his fire station in Malibu.

The Camarillo Outlets was the cool place to be, especially because it was empty due to being Monday. A new Johnny Rocket's is opening but is still being constructed much to the groups disappointment. We had to settle for food court Thai food. I got a kick out of seeing Eoin walk right to the stand he liked and order chips. The guy behind the bar kept telling him they don't have chips but Eoin kept saying it over and pointing at the big picture. Finally Hailey saved the day by walking over and explaining to Eoin and the food guy that he wanted french fries. Irish.

After a few hours of shopping and talking about the past and future, the group was pretty burnt out and wanted to get some rest. Darcey was a trooper all day. The queasy feelings haven't worked themselves all the way out of her system yet. She hung in there all day like a champ. I ended up getting some sweet camouflage shorts I've wanted forever. I don't know why. But Eoin and I matched and that's what's important. It was awesome to see my mom. Living a couple hours away keeps us from seeing each other and family as much as we'd like. It was cool to look at little kid cloths with her and listen to her remember things about me when I was little.

Waiting for Hawaii

We leave with the McAfees and Kingsleys for Maui on the 10th of this month for two weeks of sitting on the beach, hiking, site seeing, and eating spam. It seems like it's been 4 years since we've planned this vacation. When I need a brake from work it usually goes that way. As much as I'm looking forward to my first tropical travel destination, it comes at a time where every cent we make is going straight into savings. Paradise can be expensive and diving into money that is suppose to be for our first house can be a little demotivating. But I guess we have to enjoy the islands before global warming washes them away.

We're going to be staying on the west side of the island but we may try to make it over to the Hana Hwy on the other side for a day or so. I've heard the drive is beautiful and is full of waterfalls, tide pools and empty beaches. After picking up a book about all the stuff on Maui I realized that it would take more than a two week trip to see all there is to see. 80 or 90 trips throughout my life time should do it. We still have to figure out what we're going to do for auto transport and stuff like that but Matt seems to have all the ducks lined up.

Playoffs 09

Last Monday was pretty awesome. After enjoying a nice day off my brother in-law Matt and I left for Anaheim in the afternoon to see game six in the first round of the NHL playoffs. The eighth-seeded Ducks took down the No. 1 Sharks, owners of the best record in the NHL this regular season, in a best of seven series. Anaheim is one of only five teams to do that in more than 40 years.

Since the game was at 7:30, I was afraid we were going to get stuck in traffic heading through LA but, thanks to the recession, it wasn't a problem. They tickets we managed to get weren't in my dream spot but I wasn't about to fork over $380 to be on the bottom level. Once we got in our seats they turned out to be just fine. We could see the game and were close to the $11 per hot dog food bar. Living in Dublin, Ireland, Matt doesn't see much hockey. I did my best to explain technical rules, the rivalry between Anaheim and San Jose, and how awesome it was that the Ducks were embarrassing the best team in the NHL by leading the series 3-2.

Right off the first puck drop, the two players taking the circle dropped gloves and started wailing on each other. The tension between the two carried over from the last game. It was about this time that everyone around us started saying under their breath, "This is gonna be a good game."

It was. Even though the Sharks got the first goal, it was the last one they would score this season. The Ducks scored 4 times during the game to get the series winning game. One of the best things about the game was the lady sitting in front of Matt. Every time something positive happened for the Ducks she would turn around for a high-five. If you didn't see her holding her hand up for one, she would hit you on the leg until you did. I don't think Matt will want to give anyone a high five for as long as he lives.